


I Smell Twenties

by iF_i_StOp_SmOkInG_cRaCk



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Convenience Stores, Essential Oils, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Instagram, Justice, Stealing, confused civilian, crack lowkey, dumb, okay highkey, shennanigans, sorta - Freeform, strawberry milk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 00:39:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18712951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iF_i_StOp_SmOkInG_cRaCk/pseuds/iF_i_StOp_SmOkInG_cRaCk
Summary: Based on a dream I had last night.Matt and Peter extort a convenience store owner for trying to extort them.crack but not extreme crack





	I Smell Twenties

The man at the counter was portly and blond, he had barely glanced at Matt.

'That'll be $7.99 thanks,' he droned.

Matt nodded, he reached into his wallet and brought out a $10 bill, and some assorted change. He held up the bill.

'This is a five, right?'

The man looked up, and finally noticed Matt's glasses and cane. He looked at the bill,

'Oh, uh, yeah, it is.'

What a dickhead, trying to extort the blind.

'You're such a dickhead, trying to extort the blind.' Matt said.

'What- are you, are you even blind, man?' 

'Yes, he is!' a voice came out from behind the first shelf. Literally Spider-Man walked out, holding a phone camera. 

'What the fuck is this. Are you two trying'a ruin my hard earned reputation round here? A blind fella and some creep in a Spider-Man costume?' 

'I'm no creep, I'm the real deal baby, and i have a lot of followers on Instagram who will boycott your store if they see this.' 

'What the actual fresh fuck is going on.'

Peter and Matt fistbump eachother.

'Bam- chapowwwww' they say in unison, wiggling their fingers as their hands move away.

Matt turns serious again, and not even looking at the store owner says,

'That is, unless, you give us these two strawberry milks for free, then nobody needs to know.'

'Are you.... are you blackmailing me?' The Storeowner looked really offended.

'Yeah we are.' Peter replied. 'Your milk- or your life?'

The Storeowner creased his eyebrows together.

'You ain't gonna kill me, you're Spider-Man.'

'Darn, you got me there, your mil-'

'A momentary investment or a sudden and long lasting drop in profits.' Matt said in the same tone as Peter said "your milk or your life". 

'Okay okay, have the milk, just get the fuck outta here before. You're the weirdest robbers I ever seen.'

Peter and Matt fistbump again. They grab the milk and go.

 

* * *

 

'Hey, how _do_  you tell your money apart, actually.' Peter asks, as they sip their beverages on a park bench.

'I use a variety of essential oils on them. I put orange scented on twenties, lavender on fives, and so on.'

'Awesome.' Matt hands Peter some different types of money so he can sniff them.

'I cant smell anything.' He says.

'That's cause your nose is shit.' Matt replies serenely.

'Why don't you just use a debit card.'

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is so dumb hope you enjoyed it if you got to the end!!!! :))))))  
> EDITED: because i found out the eftpos brand is not international and no one would have understood- changed to: debit card


End file.
